Yaz or No?

I love the new Yaz birth control commercial that makes it seem like if you are in are control of getting pregnant, you can live the rest of your life with wild abandon. You can do things like bathe with your clothes on (who doesn't want to do that?), cut the hair you've been growing out for 6 years into chunky, ugly bangs (I'm pretty sure chunky, ugly bangs are going to get a person less "bangs", but what do I know, right?), blow bubbles in the house and make your carpet sudsy (yes!), and paint your walls an ugly shade of orange that you'll just have to neutralize in two years when you go to sell your condo. But who cares? You are wild and crazy on YAZ!!!!!!!!

While the obvious audience for this commercial is female, I am pretty sure this is how I would interpret the commercial if I were a guy: Wow, Yaz makes a woman stupid. If a woman chooses Yaz as a birth control method, it's going to be the last logical decision she ever makes. If a woman who uses Yaz will bathe with her clothes on, the chances are good that she is going to sleep with me. I need to find a chick using Yaz.

Hey! It turns out you'll probably need Yaz afterall! The problem is that all the normal, sane, great guys will most likely weed you out as being a major nutbag because you are bathing with your clothes on, constantly complaining that cutting your bangs was the biggest mistake you ever made, and blowing bubbles like an idiot in your house while sitting in the garish, orange living room. Yup, it's likely the men that are left are not going to be the ones you were really hoping would sleep with you. Bummer.

Wow! All the more reason you should not be procreating, huh?

I'm so hungry, I could eat my sleeve

I think more foods should come in sleeves like Ritz crackers. Not only is it fun to say you're eating something from a sleeve, but it's like a built in portion control device. I'll fully admit that I have eaten half a sleeve before, maybe even a whole sleeve if I have been on some sort of cracker frenzy. But I am never going to eat 2 sleeves. I mean, if you are eating 2 sleeves of crackers, you're halfway to eating a whole garment's worth of crackers, and frankly, you should probably just strap the box of crackers to your face like some sort of feed bag.